MASTURBATION Backstroke roulette Bash the candle Beat off Beat the bishop Beat the meat Beat the dummy Beat the stick Bleed the weed Blow your load Bludgeon the beefsteak Bop the bolgney Buff the banana Burp the worm Butter the corn Choke the chicken Choke the sherrif and wait for the posse to come Clean your rifle Crank the shank Crown the king Cuff the carrot Diddle Drain the monster Fist fuck Fist your mister Five against one Flog the dog Flog the hog Flog your dong Flute solo Fondle the fig Gallup the antelope Give it a tug Grease the pipe Hack the hog Hand job Hand work Have it off Hitchhike under the big top Hump your hose Jack hammer Jack off Jazz yourself Jerk off Jerk the gherkin Loop the mule Make tye bald man puke Manipulate the mango Manual override Milk the lizard Nerk your throbber Oil the glove One man show Pack your palm Paddle the pickle Paint the pickle Paint the walls Peal the carrot Please your pisser Plunk your twanger Pocket pinball Pocket pool Polish the rocket Polish the sword Pound off Pound your flounder Pound your pud Pull off Pull the pole Pull the pope Pull your taffy Pump the python Ram the ham Ride the great white knuckler Rope the pony Shaking hands with the unemployed Shine your pole Shoot putty at the moon Slam the hammer Slammin' the salami Slappin' pappy Slapping the clown Slingin' jelly Snap the monkey Snap the whip Spank the frank Squeeze the lemon Strokin' it Stroke off Stroke your poker Tease the weasle Tenderize the meat The five knuckle shuffle Toss the turkey Thump the pump Tickle your pickle Toss off Walk the dog Wank Wax the dolphin Wack off Whip the dummy Whip your dripper Whizzin' jizzim Wonk your conker Wrestle your eel Wring out your rope Yank off Yank the crank Flogging the frog Mangling the midget Choking Ko Jak